I've been doing some reflecting this morning about expectations. Some expectations I've had in the past and in the present moment, and I'm taking note on what they are doing to me. Or for me. The feeling I have is more tense and tight, not flowy and positive. So I ask myself - what good are any expectations? Do they serve anyone? Can I eliminate expectations? Why are they here to begin with? A memory comes to me of Andrew Obrecht repeating "expectation is the root of all heartache". I laugh to myself, as this is not only a vivid memory, but a wise and true saying. I know and understand it, but then what are these expectations doing lingering in my chest and gut? Where's the delete button?
If I drop all expectations, will anything get done? Is this a story I'm telling myself? Let me think of a fictional scenario. A trip is planned, then the roads are closed due to construction. We can't get there. I am struck with disappointment. I was so excited. I had envisioned of what could have been. What memories we could have made. Bummed. We turn around. Go home, and begin to do something else. Eventually I get over it. Maybe we weren't meant to go there. Maybe something better comes along. We are invited somewhere else, and have beautiful memories born there.
So I reflect (after a heartwarming chat from a friend), these changes in plans, un-lived expectations, are they meant to teach us something? Are they meant to give us coping skills? Flexibility skills? Are they meant to give us a different gift - rather than the expected one?
The knot in my stomach is releasing as I write and wonder. Wonder and write. So I didn't get to take route A. Route B led me to where I am now. And the beautiful place in the future.
Expectations are okay. I think having visions for the future are important and beautiful. Having that end destination will get us in the car, and moving. Maybe a road closure takes us to somewhere two times more magical than the original plan. I think that is just what I have to remember in the back of my mind, in my subconscious computer - wherever I'm going, it's going to be amazing. Expectations are okay. But flexibility, trust, and optimism have to be right there ready for work too.